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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173297">Love is a Burden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoms/pseuds/melanoms'>melanoms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Reader-Insert, no happy ending, read if you like sad things</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173297</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoms/pseuds/melanoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki comes to tell you that he’s ready to win you back. If only he knew what “ready” really meant.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Stephen Strange/Reader, past Loki (Marvel)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is a Burden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is 100% angst. No happy ending. But I love sad stories. Soooo here we are. This is totally not about my life *laughs nervously*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I take it that Wong isn’t a great cook?” you asked Stephen as you finished off the last of your wine.</p><p>Stephen shook his head and laughed. “If cooking means me buying him a sandwich from the deli, then yes, Wong is an excellent cook.”</p><p>The richness of his voice matched the gentle rumble of thunder from outside. The rain came to purify the earth that day.</p><p>He smiled at you. But quickly started fiddling with the band of his wristwatch. Your eyes flickered down then back to his face.</p><p>“Time for you to get back?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He looked downwards. “Time...I always seem to have not enough or too much of it.”</p><p>You let out a light laugh and the two of you stood up from the dining table. You gave Stephen a hug. Awkwardly leaning into him at the end of your embrace, you placed a kiss on his cheek. </p><p>He gave you a soft smile and glanced at the floor. Unable to hide the slight flush where your lips were moments before. Then he conjured a portal back to the Sanctum and waved goodbye before he closed it.</p><p>As you gathered dishes from the table, you heard a knock from the front door.</p><p>“Didn’t think you were one for doors! Especially with this weather!” you shouted. You walked over and grabbed the handle. “What did you forg—”</p><p>But your eyes grew wide when you swung the door open to see Loki drenched from the evening rain.</p><p>His hair clung to this face as he stared at you through the doorway wearing his street clothes. The air reeked of fresh rain and ancient sorrows. He took a shaky step forward to prop himself on the door with his forearm. Then he placed his hand on the side of your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.</p><p>“L-Loki. What are you doing?” </p><p>Your voice wavered as your breath escaped your lungs. You leaned your face into his hand. But your body took a step back in regret. Loki followed you across the threshold, mistaking your retraction as an invitation to come closer.</p><p>He flung his free hand to the other side of your face. You could feel it trembling against your skin. He stumbled through your living room to press you against a wall. But when he leaned in to kiss you, you turned your head away from him.</p><p>“Don’t.”</p><p>Loki released you from his grasp. He placed one hand on the wall next to your face as the other fell to his side. Swallowing, he watched you as you refused to match his gaze. You could hear his labored breathing as he tried to get the words out.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Please, there has to be a way.”</p><p>You looked into his misty eyes. Then glanced down at the floor and shook your head.</p><p>“No, it’s too late. You’re too late.”</p><p>“But I’m ready now.”</p><p>“Loki, I spent years waiting for you to be the person I thought you could be. I’m not waiting anymore.”</p><p>“I can be anything you want me to be. I promise. I can.” </p><p>Then he changed his appearance so he looked like Stephen. But his voice remained his own. </p><p>“Is this what you want now? Is this who you need me to be?”</p><p>He leaned in again to kiss you. Your breath hitched as the body of Stephen, but the aching heart of Loki, begged for your acceptance. You placed a hand on his chest to push him away, shaking your head. </p><p>You looked at Loki, still wearing Stephen’s face, and blinked firmly. A few tears escaped the prisons of your eyes. </p><p>Loki took a step back and changed back into his normal form. Looking at the floor, he held the back of his neck and started shaking his head.</p><p>“No, Loki,” you pleaded. “I need you to be <em> exactly </em> who you are. <em> You </em> need you to be exactly who you are.”</p><p>“Do you still love me?” </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>He jerked his head upwards to look at you again. A doomed glimmer of hope flashed across his eyes.</p><p>“Your whole life, everyone wanted you to be someone different. To please them and not you. But now, you deserve to be yourself. Without the expectation of others. Without <em> my </em>expectations.”</p><p>“Then you want, you want me...”</p><p>“No, Loki. I can’t.”</p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p>“The best way that I can love you is to let you be you. The best way that I can love myself is to let you be you...<em> without me. </em>”</p><p>Loki vacantly stared at the floor. His lip trembled as he took a few shallow breaths. </p><p>
  <em> Who knew love could hurt so much. </em>
</p><p>But after a few moments, he stamped his foot and stood up straight. Looking at you, he slicked his hair back and bit his lip. He glowered at you as he adjusted the lapels of his jacket. </p><p>“Your <em> love </em>,” he spat, “is a burden.”</p><p>Then, he walked out the door without another word.</p><p>Leaving you to collapse on the floor and sob.</p><p>Feeling just as alone as all the years you were still with him.</p>
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